Silent Screams

(Click on the poem to enlarge)

Three months after my arrival in Mackay I found a lump on my left breast one morning while in bed.  At that time I didn't have a GP, a medicare  card, a bank account and my NZ drivers licence just over the three months I was allowed to use it.  

My only option was to go to the Base Hospital but as expected I was asked to see a GP. Can't remember now why I had to wait before I could do my mammogram, something to do with a public holiday.  I was at that time (not knowing there is a community health service) told I have to pay.  Paying was my least of my worries.  Four nights I couldn't sleep and one of those nights I basically cried in bed.

Not wanting to wake my husband in his sleep, I got up and sat and penned 'Silent Screams'.  My thoughts of Breast Cancer, why so soon?  My husband and I just starting a new life together; I had dreams and plans, I had a bucket list to do in Mackay.  But most of all I cried for my little grand daughter who's just a year and a few months old at that time.  So I prayed that this be taken away from me; if I were alone I know I will weep and sob and wail and beg for the Lord to give me more time to see my grand daughter grow!  But I wasn't alone hence the 'Silent Screams'. 

NB:                                                                                                                                                                                                   I wrote this during the year I arrived in Mackay; it was published online in May 2014 but has taken it down a year or so later.